The Short, Eventful Tenure of Headmaster G Squid
by MuggleBeene
Summary: Dumbledore has died, and Harry is grieving. Before the funeral, though, a mysterious ritual is completed to choose the next Headmaster. The ritual picks the Giant Squid. But as always with Harry, that's just the beginning. Some deaths, a little swearing, and some possible futures. AU Crackfic for the TL Crack!Fic exchange, specifically Rose of the West and HeadlessHuntsman.


**The Short, Eventful Tenure of Headmaster G. Squid**

Dumbledore was dead. The longest serving Headmaster that Hogwarts had ever known was dead, and the repercussions were being felt all over the wizarding world. The Board of Governors had called an emergency session and the press were like rabid crups in their attempt to figure out what the hell had actually happened. To Harry Potter, though, the world seemed as if it was closing in on him, his resources dwindling, all while he, Ron and Hermione tried to put together some sort of plan to deal with the task that Dumbledore had given him.

Horcruxes. The word itself made Harry shiver involuntarily, as he knew what that meant, he knew how a horcrux was formed, and he knew that he had skint information on how to actually find the things. What made him more nervous, though, was the event he had to attend later that day. He sat in the Gryffindor common room, idly flipping through a Quidditch magazine without actually reading anything, lost in his thoughts when he heard his name being called by a familiar voice, and a smile actually started upon his face until he saw her expression.

"Harry, Professor McGonagall wants to see us." Hermione stood before him, nervously playing with her watch. "She said it's important."

"Um, ok." Harry's tone indicated his resignation. He knew that he was going to be trotted out and asked questions yet again about Dumbledore's death, something he had done five times previously for different investigating groups. He stood up and tossed the Quidditch magazine on the chair.

As he and Hermione started to leave the common room they met Ron walking in.

"Hey Harry, McGonagall..."

"We know, Ron." Hermione rolled her eyes. "She sent me to find Harry."

Ron shrugged. "Don't bite my head off. Flitwick sent me."

Harry shook his head and exited the room without saying a word, leaving his two best friends to follow.

When McGonagall's office door opened Harry realized that it wasn't the same 'in your own words, please, Mr. Potter' type conversation he had held with the other groups, as two robed and cowled figures stood before McGonagall's desk. Before he could ask Hermione whispered 'Department of Mysteries' in his ear, and he looked at them in surprise, wondering why they, of all people in the Ministry, would be at Hogwarts.

"Potter." McGonagall nodded at him and looked uneasy. "The Department of Mysteries would like your participation in a...meeting."

Even though the novelty of having two members of the most secretive branch of the Ministry want to speak with him piqued his curiosity, Harry felt his interest wane almost immediately. The loss of Dumbledore was still fresh; reliving that horrible experience again, relaying how Snape had killed Dumbledore, would only bring those overwhelming feelings of loss, anger and frustration back to the forefront.

Seeing the look upon his face McGonagall spoke again. "The Board of Governors will be there, as will I, and we will be determining the new Headmaster."

That certainly got Harry's attention, along with Hermione and Ron. Harry could almost feel the questions bubbling within Hermione as she shifted her weight back and forth on her feet.

One of the Department of Mysteries people stepped forward. "We require Potter's attendance upon the platform. All other students are required to attend but not participate."

Harry couldn't tell if the person in the robe was a man or a woman as the voice seemed to reflect both male and female qualities. It was probably an enchantment of some type, and he filed it away to ask Hermione about it later. He wanted to yell at them, to scream that it didn't bloody matter who was Headmaster if Voldemort was out there with horcruxes, that everything else was useless, but instead he only nodded in agreement.

-ooo-

Harry had never seen that many important people in one place in his life, as it seemed like not only the Board of Governors was there but most of the Wizangamot. A platform sat in the middle of the black lake, a small, thin walkway extending to it from the shore. Alongside Professor McGonagall he walked out to the platform, slightly disturbed when the Department of Mysteries lot made Ron and Hermione wait on the shore with the rest of the students that encircled the lake. He walked down the long platform, conscious of all the looks from his fellow students. Then, before he knew it, he sat in a rather uncomfortable chair on the platform next to McGonagall. One of the Department of Mysteries people walked to the center of the platform, in front of the Wizangamot and the Board of Governors and put a wand to its throat and began speaking in that weird, asexual voice.

"We are gathered here today under extraordinary and sad circumstances, to appoint a new Headmaster of Hogwarts. This appointment is usually done by the Board of Governors but we have foreseen unusual tremors in the fabric of time. This appointment will affect every aspect of life in the wizarding world from here on out, requiring the completion of an ancient ritual."

Upon the utterance of the word 'ritual' the crowd went a little crazy. Harry watched as the Board of Governors stood up and began shouting about their loss of power, the Wizangamot people were shouting how rituals were illegal unless the appropriate permit had been brought before them and sent through the official channels for approval, and the press went mental. Finally the Department of Mysteries person raised their wand and everything went silent.

The weird asexual voice continued, but anger could be heard by all. "This is not open to debate. The very future of our world hangs in the balance." The words stopped and then started again, this time in a calmer voice. "Bring forth your candidates and they will be judged. Those meeting approval will submit to the staff."

As three people walked forward Harry leaned over to Professor McGonagall. "Aren't you going up there? You'd be brilliant."

Minerva McGonagall gave him a quick smile and then reverted to her impassive expression. "Thank you, Potter, for your vote of confidence, but I don't have a good feeling about this...ritual."

Harry studied the three people who stood next to each other, all a healthy distance away from the Department of Mysteries person. One was a woman he recognized from the Wizangamot who wanted his wand snapped when he had to defend himself against the incident with the Dementors. Seeing her made him think of Dumbledore again, and that keen sense of loss pierced him yet once more. Quickly he turned to the other two. One was a wizard he'd never seen before but didn't like, as the man reminded him of the sneering face of Lucius Malfoy. The other gave him a feeling of anger and he felt a slight twinge from his scar. The man was a Death Eater! He almost grabbed McGonagall's robe but before he could she looked at him and he realized there wasn't anything to be done.

Then the ritual started. The Department of Mysteries person held up their wand and a bright yellow light shot up out of their wand into the sky and then began to spread over the entire lake, encompassing everyone, students included, under a globe of yellow light. Runes shone brightly in the sky and Harry wished he had taken Ancient Runes with Hermione. She probably knew what it meant, and he filed it away for yet another thing to ask her about later. Before he could look to see where Hermione was, though, a shap crack was heard in the air above the platform, revealing a large, almost man-size staff with a golden head. As the staff turned Harry could see the four emblems of Hogwarts, Gryffindor's Lion, Slytherin's Snake, Hufflepuff's Badger and Ravenclaw's Eagle.

The creepy two-in-one voice of the Department of Mysteries person forced everyone's attention. "The staff of Hogwarts. Unnecessary for generations, the Staff will chose the next Headmaster. Only the one who has the fortitude to do what is right will be able to claim it."

Every eye was riveted upon the staff. Harry heard McGonagall let out a few swear words and had to stifle the urge to laugh, as he'd never heard the Professor swear in his entire time at Hogwarts. But then motion caught his eye, and Harry felt his heart in his throat as the man who he knew, he just knew was a Death Eater reached up to grab the staff.

He never came close. Before he could come within two feet of the Staff a blinding light shot out from the golden head of the staff, specifically from the Gryffindor Lion, and disintigrated the man, leaving a small, smoking pile of ash on the platform.

To say that everybody went mental would be an understatement. Some students tried to run but found themselves stuck within the yellow globe. One of the Wizangamot members tried to make a run for it but was struck down by the Staff, this time by the Ravenclaw Eagle, once again leaving a small pile of smoking ash. The other two possible candidates for Headmaster backed away from the Staff very slowly, never taking their eyes off of it.

The person from the Department of Mysteries once again addressed the throng. "Hogwarts seeks a protector, not one who would use the position for personal or politcal gain. Albus Dumbledore protected Hogwarts, and in these times of darkness a protector is required. If none of you are willing to take the solemn oaths of protection, Hogwarts will decide."

Harry, along with the crowd, was transfixed upon the Staff as it slowly revolved in the air. Time seemed to stretch out, and he didn't know how long he had waited, when suddenly a tentacle shot out from the Black Lake, encircled the Staff of Hogwarts, and disappeared beneath the surface of the water.

The Department of Mysteries person broke the silence. "Hogwarts has spoken." After a wave of a wand the yellow globe snapped out of existence, the two members of the Department of Mysteries disappeared, and chaos descended.

-ooo-

The funeral of Albus Dumbledore was guaranteed to be well-attended because, Harry thought, he's Albus freaking Dumbledore, but the fact that the new Headmaster of Hogwarts was the Giant Squid in the Black Lake made it an absolute circus. It seemed every magical person in the world wanted to see what was going on at Hogwarts, leading to the Ministry limiting attendance. Even then it was a massive event.

It was after the funeral that Harry found himself walking with Ginny by the lake. He knew that he would have to end things with her to take on the task that Dumbledore had left him, and he was nervous about how she'd take it. It had been wonderful with her, really, it had, but he knew that things were going to change. Harry stood there with Ginny, and by the look on her face he could tell she knew what was coming. He looked out over the surface of the lake, took a deep breath and started to say something but when he looked at Ginny it was just as if everything had…frozen. She didn't move. She didn't blink, and if he was honest it seemed that she wasn't even breathing.

"Sorry 'bout that."

Harry turned toward the origin of the voice and found himself looking at the lake. Nobody was there, only a small ripple that showed that something was heading for shore. He took out his wand, ready to face what had to be Voldemort's forces, but nothing appeared. The electric jangle of his nerves made it feel as if every hair was standing on end and he quickly stepped between Ginny's unmoving form and the lake.

"Oh hell, ya can't see me, can ya?" Almost instantly a form stood in front of Harry, a massive form that blocked the sun. "Don't worry, Potter, I ain't here ta hurt ya. Let's just say the universe wanted me to have a talk with ya. You can put that wand away, boy."

As Harry stared at the thing walking out of the water he realized that the sense of danger was gone, replaced instead by an overwhelming feeling of safety, one that he hadn't felt since…

"Since yer mum." The voice continued to grow closer. "Yeah, occulmency's shit against me, always has been, so don't feel bad. Even the best in the world wouldn't have a chance."

Harry watched as the form grew closer and realized that it was actually a man. A very large man who almost looked as if he was the cross between a man and a werewolf. Before he could ask a question a tentacle shot out from the man's side, rose to his head and scratched behind a slightly hairy ear before disappearing again. When the shock of the moment was gone Harry finally found his voice. "What, uh, I mean, ah, who _are_ you?"

With a laugh the figure sat down on the ground. "I'm yer Headmaster, Potter." He waited for a moment and then laughed again. "Oh yeh, this form." A series of tentacles came of his sides and waved around before disappearing again. "Don't do it very often, to be honest I like the lake much better, nice and dark down there, but every now and then I gotta talk to someone. Last time I did it was a werewolf who went here, took a form he wouldn't mind. He was all wolfed out then, ya see."

"Professor Lupin?" Harry's voice cracked slightly.

"Yeh, the same. He wuz havin' a rotten time of it. Felt bad for 'im." He pointed to the ground in front of him. "Take a seat, Potter, we got a lot to talk about."

Harry quickly sat down in front of him and then suddenly remembered Ginny. He glanced back to see her still-frozen body.

"Oh, she's fine, Harry. I just stopped time for a bit."

Finally Harry found his voice. "So you're the Headmaster Squid."

"Giant Squid, thank ya very much, but you can call me Larry." He gave Harry a slightly wolfish, carnivorous grin. "So, Potter, I heard ya up there on the platform. Glad to help."

"You what?"

"Heard ya up there. Like I said, occlumency doesn't work. I hear everybody's thoughts, especially those down by the water and old Dumbles told me to really listen if you ever came by. Gonna miss that old fart, he always was nice." Larry sat silent for a moment and then turned to Harry. "So I know your story, Dumbles told me to listen and I heard ya up there. 'Don't let that Death Eater be Headmaster, protect Hogwarts, protect my friends, and well, that's when I stepped in." He tilted his head back and laughed. "Stepped in, hoo, that's a good 'un, crack myself up." He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and looked at Harry. "So, that ritual? Yeah, does more than pick the Headmaster. Those Mystereons are a bunch a loons."

"Mystereons?"

"Department of Mysteries idiots. It's like giving a kid a computer but they only use it for games. So much more. You know what I mean, you were Muggle-raised. Spell does a ton more than just pick the Headmaster, it lets things change."

"Change?" Harry looked at him oddly. "How?"

"You think this is the only future? That things are set out, destined? You think you were destined to be The Boy Who Lived? Yeah, I know ya hate it, but part of the territory. There's multiple realities. What that stupid Mystereon did was bring all the realities into a bigass knot. They're all here, right now, that's why everything's stopped. Like a traffic jam, and I'm the traffic warden right now. Difference is you get to pick the road."

"What? Why me?"

"Why the hell not?" Larry leaned forward. "Ain't you suffered enough, boy?" A tentacle shot out and lightly smacked Harry on the back of his head. "Wise up, Nancy. Everything's in your hands now. I can't tell you exactly what'll happen until after you pick. Look at it this way, Dumbles put his entire trust in you, yer Mum sacrificed everything for ya, yer Dad the same, even old Sirius. That much good karma builds up until the universe finally goes 'eff me, enough, do somethin' good for the kid.' So that's why I'm here. Ya remember that crazy mirror, right? Trick was to want good but not for yerself? Same thing. Ya brought her here to break up with her, right? Right?"

Harry could only nod in agreement.

"Right." Larry smiled again. "So I'm gonna give ya a few options, and ya can't spend all day thinkin' about it, either, it's gotta be what's in yer heart. So here ya go."

A piece of parchment materialized out of nowhere and drifted down in front of Harry.

**Option One: Voldemort Gone, Moderate Loss, Medium Personal Happiness**

**Option Two: Voldemort Gone, High Loss, High Personal Happiness**

**Option Three: Voldemort Not Quite Gone, Minimal Loss, Extreme Personal Happiness**

**Option Four: Voldemort Gone, Minimal Loss, Uncertain Personal Happiness**

**Option Five: Voldemort Not Gone, High Loss, Limitless Personal Happiness**

Harry looked down at the words and felt his stomach drop away. Before him were choices that could change everything. As his past swam in his thoughts he remembered the stories of Voldemort's first appearance, the first war, how everyone had suffered. Before he could even speak a word Option Five disappeared from the page.

"Figured that 'un." Larry laughed. "So, since that's off the table I'll tell you what was behind door number Five. In that ya didn't beat him as much as absorbed 'im. That scar 'a yours basically sucked him into yer head where ya fought him so he can't really go anywhere. A course when ya did that things went to shit really quick. Hogwarts blew up, pretty much all the students died, and for a bit you were depressed as hell but then ya changed. Kinda went dark, killed a bunch of people but you liked it a lot. Ya basically took over the world and danced on everyone's graves, laughing the whole time."

"Bloody hell!" Harry took off his glasses and shook his head. "I would never…"

"Oh, it woulda been bloody and hell on earth." Larry raised an eyebrow. "Next?"

Harry scanned the parchment and, once again, an option disappeared. This time it was Option Two.

"Ah yeh." Harry laughed. "Door number two. It woulda been painful, but it woulda been fun. In that one ya kick old Voldemort off but it does somethin' freaky and it pretty much wipes out every magical male in about a hundred mile radius. Since there's a lot less blokes Ministry makes a law where ya gotta marry more than one woman."

"What?" Harry sat back, dumbfounded. "They can do that?"

"Oh yeah. They have before. Haven't you read that History of Magic book?"

"Well…" Harry looked away.

"Typical." Larry rolled his eyes. "Anyway, you end up with six wives and a bunch a kids. Richer than Midas, too. Want ta know who ya married in that one?"

Harry thought for a moment and then nodded.

"First one ya married was Milicent Bulstrode…"

"STOP!" Harry put his hands over his ears. "ENOUGH!"

Larry laughed heartily. "If'n you could see your face, lad. Ok, enough of that one, pick again."

Harry looked down at the parchment and realized he should have picked Option Three before Option Five.

"Yep, figured you'd see that" Larry winked and Option Three disappeared. "You were lookin' at the loss part, weren't ya? Figures. Well, door number Three went like this; you never found all the horcruxes so every few years he'd pop back around, you had to go out and fight 'im, but since you never found that horcrux he hounded you off and on until ya died. To balance that out ya were Lord Baron Potter Black, richer than the last option and ya had seven wives. Not all at the same time, mind ya, that was Option Five. Divorced a few, married a few, married one three times but it never really worked. She did a number on ya, boy."

Harry closed his eyes, afraid to ask, but eventually the curiosity got the better of him. "Who did a number on me?"

"Nymphadora Tonks, of course."

"Merlin's pants!" Harry ran a hand through his messy hair. "But…"

"Option's off the table, bucko, so don't sweat it." Larry's tentacles came out from his side and joined together slightly, tapping each other at the tip like when people tap their fingers together. "Options are gettin' low, my boy."

Harry looked down at the two remaining options. In both of them Voldemort was gone, but the difference between the two was the number of lives lost and Harry's happiness. He looked over to Larry. "What's the definition of 'moderate' here?"

"Nope, can't tell ya." Larry shook his head. "You figure it out."

Once again Harry stared at the two options. He moved slightly, uncomfortable sitting on the ground, and found that a shadow crossed his hands; Ginny's shadow. He'd been happy with Ginny these last few months, but something was nagging him, something he couldn't put his finger on. Thinking of the hunt for the horcruxes he had been prepared to take that small time of happiness with him, to live on it while out on Dumbledore's final task for him, and that's when he realized. "Option One."

The words disappeared from the parchment, leaving only the fourth option.

Larry gave him a slightly sad smile. "I wondered about that one, I really did. So, do you want to know?"

"Yeah." Harry nodded, but then his face fell. "Unless I end up with Bulstrode or Pansy Parkinson, and then I'd rather not."

Larry didn't laugh; instead he looked almost sad. "Lot a people died in this one, but a lot less than the other options. Unfortunately it's people you...well. Yeah. Dobby, Remus Lupin, Tonks, Fred Weasley, Severus Snape…"

"Good riddance." Harry spat on the ground.

"Just hold yer horses, there, mister. Ya don't know the whole story. Yeah, Snape dies, but so do a lot a other people. Ya marry her." One of Larry's tentacles point over Harry's shoulder to Ginny's frozen form. "And ya have three kids. James, Albus and Lily. Don't get yer panties in a wad over Snape because ya name yer youngest boy Albus Severus."

"I would never…"

"Option's gone, kid, so shut up and listen. You and red over there are together until the little girl goes to Hogwarts and then things fall apart. She marries some guy you thought was a friend after you two divorce and you never marry again, but your kids have great lives."

Harry turned around and stared at Ginny, wondering what their children would look like, who she would leave him for…

"So, we have a winner." Larry stood up. "You were gonna break it off with her, right? Tell ya what, don't say a word, let her talk first. Then tomorrow morning come down here bright and early. Old Headmaster's got a treat for ya."

-ooo-

The next morning Harry pulled the bed curtains away from the four-poster in his dorm room. He swung his legs over the side only to see Ron standing there fully dressed, looking apologetic.

"Listen, Harry, sorry about Ginny. Sorry she chucked you. Should've told you to watch out for her. Blimey, you know she's always had a thing for…"

"The Boy Who Lived. I know." Harry shook his head.

"She's daft, and she's my sister, but you're my best mate…" Ron rubbed his chin. "Normally I'd say she's a…"

Harry laughed. "I know, Ron. Thanks." Suddenly he remembered his appointment. "Uh, Ron, I gotta go do something. Grab Hermione and meet me down by the lake as soon as you can."

A light clicked in Ron's eyes. "Got it. See ya, mate."

After Ron left Harry slowly got dressed. He thought of the options that the Headmaster, the Squid or Larry, had given him. Would it been so bad to be with Ginny that long, even if she did leave him in the end? And why the bloody hell would he name a kid after Snape? Eventually, though, he put on his trainers, shoved his wand in his back pocket and made his way down to the lake.

As expected, Ron and Hermione were waiting for him, but surprisingly a lot of other people were down by the lake, even professors. Once he got over to his friends he couldn't contain himself. "Why is Parkinson down here? And all…"

"I don't know, Harry, but I find it very suspicious." Hermione stopped suddenly and gave him a hug. "I'm sorry about Ginny."

He patted her arm. "It's fine, really."

Before Hermione could respond the lake began to bubble at the center, forcing everyone's attention. Up from the middle of the roiling water Harry saw the head of the Giant Squid, tentacles waving everywhere, and shouts went up through the assembled crowd. As more and more of the squid became visible the form changed to the wolfish, man-like form of Larry, the Staff of Hogwarts in a tentacle.

"ALL RIGHT YOU LOT LISTEN UP." Larry seemed to glide through the water until he ended up on the land. "THIS CRAP HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH."

The crowd was silent, waiting in a combination of fear and shock.

Larry stood on the shore and shot tentacles out into the water, bringing them up almost immediately grasping items that Harry couldn't quite make out. He walked over to Harry.

"Ready, there, Potter? No? Too bad." Larry sat a tentacle on the ground and something that looked like a crown glistened with lake droplets.

"Ravenclaw's Diadem!" Flitwick shouted in amazement.

Larry grunted. "Not anymore." He swung a giant axe off of his back and brought it down on the diadem, causing a mass of black vapor to emerge, form into the Dark Mark, scream and disappear. As the crowd looked at him in shock he winked at Harry. "Freakin' hate horcruxes. All right, one down." In quick succession items were thrown onto the shore, smashed with the axe and the same process repeated itself; vapor, Dark Mark, scream, disappear. After the last one Larry shifted the axe to his back, wiped his forehead with a tentacle and looked at his watch. "Should be any time, now." Suddenly his eyes went wide. "Shite! Almost forgot! C'mere, Potter." A tentacle shot out and grabbed Harry, encircling his waist twice, and pulled him over to Larry. As Harry and the rest of the crowd braced themselves for a repeat of the axe performance Larry took one of his human-ish hands, licked his thumb, and rubbed it on Harry's scar.

As Harry felt the scar burn like never before he thought back to how Hermione had informed Ron that he had dirt on his nose that first ride on the Hogwarts Express, and how Ron said his mum would wipe her thumb and clean off smudges. For some reason seeing Hermione back then in his memory, and the realization that he was being cleaned like a small child made him laugh.

The moment Harry laughed two things happened. The first was that Larry let go of Harry and for the first time in his life Harry felt…whole. The second thing was a sharp bang happened near the water and Voldemort was there with his giant snake.

People fell back in fear as Voldemort glided through the assembled throng, his eyes gleaming red, anger radiating off of him in waves. "WHO DARES DESTROY MY…"

Larry leaned on his axe and interrupted Voldemort. "Oh quit yer bitching, Riddle. You had it comin' you moron." He laughed, watched the 'Dark Lord' turn in anger and then in something approaching fear. "Oh yeah, figure it out now, you tosser? Old Dumbles may be gone but your bullshit's over."

Voldemort touched down to the ground, Nagini swirling at hissing at his feet. Without warning he raised his wand at Harry "AVADA…" Harry responded quickly, whipping up his wand and yelling "EXPELLIARMUS!"

Both of their wands exploded in their hands, turning to dust that mushroomed around their hands and then dropped to the grass like snow.

"Ya don't see that every day." Larry laughed and tossed Harry the Staff of Hogwarts. "See how you like that."

Harry felt an immense surge of power shoot through his hand and then his body. Voldemort stood nearby in a rage and then began circling Harry.

"Do you think just because I have no wand I have no power? I am Lord Voldemort!" He glanced around the crowd before turning back to Harry. "Obtaining a wand is easy." With a sudden burst of speed he stood next to Ron Weasley, snapped his neck and took the wand from his hand as Ron's body fell to the ground."

Ginny Weasley's scream pierced the crowd, and before Voldemort could turn she leaped upon Nagini, ignored the snake's repeated bites into her thigh and finally caught it by its mouth, her hands bleeding as the teeth sank into her hands, and with all her strength she bent the beast's jaws so that everyone could hear the SNAP. When the snake began to flail she took her wand, and with bloody, unsteady hands, cast the severing spell. Nagini's head rolled for a moment and then stopped at Voldemort's feet.

As Ginny began to sway unsteadily Harry took the Staff of Hogwarts and attacked Voldemort. Even the dark wizard's wandless magic was no match for Harry's anger and grief as the staff broke through the shield spell and struck Voldemort against the head, causing a loud SNAP. Voldemort hurled himself back in surprise during his death throes; no one had ever broken that sheld spell, not even Dumbledore. Harry roared and without thinking used the staff as a wand. Instead of Expelliarmus, or even one of the Unforgivables, the spell that came to Harry's lips surprised everyone, including him.

"FINITE!"

After a gasp Voldemort reached for Harry and then…fell to the ground. Lifeless. The spell that had been done in the graveyard after the final task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament was finally, finally at an end. Voldemort was no more.

-ooo-

In the aftermath of the final confrontation between Harry and Voldemort many things were noted for _The Daily Prophet_ and the Ministry archives, but one conversation went unheeded. After weeping over his best friend's dead body and finding out from the Healers that Ginny would live, in a fashion, Harry once again found himself at the edge of the Black Lake, seeking answers.

Larry rose up from the Lake and walked over to Harry, put his arm around him and sighed. "You picked the option, bud. To be honest you picket the best one. Never said it'd be easy, though."

Harry stared at him with reddened eyes. "The others were worse, weren't they? Please tell me they were worse."

"Yep." Larry nodded. "They were. You picked the best one. Sorry about Ron, he was a good bloke, but he's the only one who died in this option. Lots a people in the others. Well, the ones that Riddle kicked it in, anyway."

"He's really gone, then?"

"Oh yeah, big time." Larry nodded. Both were silent until Larry sniffed. "So, what's the word on yer ex?"

"My ex?" Harry looked at him oddly. "My…oh. Ginny." Harry sighed. "It's almost worse that she lived. She thinks I'm coming over to the Burrow with Ron. That we're first years again."

Larry sucked in cheeks and exhaled deeply. "She went back to when she was safe, before…"

"Before that damned diary." Harry kicked at a stone. "I'm not sure if it's better that she's alive."

Larry stopped and turned Harry to face him. "Colin Creevey. Ted Tonks. They're still alive today. Lavender Brown is still in one piece. Fred Weasley, Nymphadora Tonks, er Lupin, Remus Lupin…Teddy's got a family, Harry. Every single marked Death Eater died."

"Except Snape." Harry shook his head, his voice filled with disgust.

"Yeah, give that one some time. You'll see." Larry put his arm around Harry once again. "Besides, I happen to know that whole 'uncertain' happiness bit was a trick. Sorry, mate."

"WHAT?" Harry whirled away from him. "What do you mean!"

Larry laughed. "Didn't say how long you'd be uncertainly happy, did it, bub?" He ruffled Harry's hair. "Ok, time for me to go. You'll figure it out. Besides, I need a Moon Pie."

"Go? You can't go!" Harry held out the Hogwarts Staff. "This is yours. I can't get rid of it."

Larry shook his head and started to walk into the lake. "Course you can't, it's the Headmaster's Staff. Never was mine for good, just temporary. Come talk to me every now and then, gets lonely out here."

"What…wait, what are you talking about?" Harry ran down towards the water. "What do you mean?"

"Kinda thick, ain't ya? Better be glad ya got Granger. She'll keep you straight, except after the fifth kid when she…aw shit, said too much. You got the Hogwarts Staff? Congratulations, you're Headmaster. Have fun." Without another word Larry slid beneath the water. As the water stilled it suddenly became frothy again as a massive tentacle came out of the water, grabbed Harry by the ankle and tossed him towards the castle.

"HARRY!" Hermione's voice rang out as she stopped his momentum and then levitated him down to the ground with her wand. She ran over to him and hugged him tightly. "I was so worried about you!"

Without thinking Harry leaned over and kissed her. After breaking apart, and realizing that she had returned his kiss, Harry smiled. "You're never going to believe this, Hermione. There's so much I have to tell you…"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up." She then proceeded to throw her arms around his shoulders and give him a very long kiss.

-ooo-ooo-

All the lights at Hogwarts were dimmed in the Headmaster's Suite except for the smallest bedroom, where an elderly house elf brought the last glass of water for the night.

"Time for sleep, yes, time for sleep Mistress Rose. Dobby promised Mistress Hermione. Big day tomorrow, Mistress Rose needs to sleep."

A small girl with curly, black hair pushed the covers back with her hands and then her feet. "I don't want to go to sleep! Daddy said I could see Mummy after the baby got here and Kreacher and Daddy said she's here! I wanna go to St. Mungo's NOW!"

"Holy crap, you're loud!" Rose and Dobby looked at the painting that hung above Rose's bed. For some reason Daddy had put the same picture over all of his children's beds. This time, though, the Black Lake began to bubble until a man walked up and stood next to the frame of the portrait until Rose thought he was going to walk out. He looked at the little girl and shook his head at the house elf. "Howdy, Dobby. How ya holdin' up?"

"Very well, Headmaster Squid, very well."

The man in the painting shook his head. "Ain't Headmaster, that's Harry. He's been that for years."

Dobby shook his head and his ears wiggled. "Once a Headmaster of Hogwarts..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, same old song with you, ya barmy house elf." He turned to the little girl. "Quiet now, ain'tcha?"

She stood up in bed, pushed her dark curls away from her face and looked at him. "Who are you? And how are you doing that? The other portraits aren't like that..."

"Ye Gods, Rosie, yer just like yer Mum. Me? I'm the Giant Squid. Ya know, the one yer dad talks to in the lake. You ain't never seen me like this before, but your brothers and sisters have. You can call me Larry. So, little Rose Potter, do ya want ta hear a story? It's a good 'un, about your mum and dad."


End file.
